I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
