Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Never underestimate the power of titties
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