I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
