There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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