so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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