about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
