getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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