woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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