Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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