Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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