I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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