Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
