I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
