The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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