he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you had me at cake vodka
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
