I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
