Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
