is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
