yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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