Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
home. puking in laundry basket.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
