why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
