Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
