mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
