Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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