Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
