i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
