I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
