There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
