i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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