i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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