My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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