Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
