Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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