you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
