I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is wine microwaveable?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
