I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
