I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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