Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
