You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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