I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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