I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
