why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
