I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
