woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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