Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
