everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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