Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
