U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
