I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
