Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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(972): View more from Texas

Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.

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(619): View more from California

our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.

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(+81): View more from

I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

(+61): View more from Australia

You're never coming back, are you?

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(972): View more from Texas

They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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(281): View more from Texas

I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.

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(845): View more from New York

I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.

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(323): View more from California

Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.

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