I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
