So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
