Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
