I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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