His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
