His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
