my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
