Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
