dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
